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[03 Feb 2006|01:34am] |
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and everyone you thought was true is not. and everyone you thought was real is not. and everyone you trusted can't be. and everyone you loved is empty.
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[03 Feb 2006|01:16am] |
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p.s. why are practically all guys such douche bags? "why can't you just put out?" uhhh....cuz im not a slut you asshole? and you arent worth the effort? and you're fucking lame? seriously though, bags of douche. all of them. wtf man. why is everything so paradoxical? that probably seems really out of context, but it makes sense to make me.
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[03 Feb 2006|01:05am] |
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sometimes even the littlest things seem soooo significant. you know they are not, but you still harp on them. you know none of it matters, yet you care so much it hurts. i want to just not give a fuck.
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[14 Oct 2005|02:18am] |
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i must admit i was charmed by your advances...your advantage left me helplessly into you.
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[17 Feb 2005|11:52pm] |
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if you really loved someone, why would you go to such an extent to hurt him or her?
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[04 Feb 2005|11:49pm] |
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you are selfish and you ruined my whole night. why dont things ever seem to work out for me. just for fucking once.
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| santa barbara road trip 2005 |
[30 Jan 2005|06:16pm] |
You are Lauren O'Neill! You never cease to make
everyone laugh with your sometimes frantic
voice and amazing sense of humor. You make
some pretty sweet calls, great impersonations,
and love spending time with your friends.
You're all about experiencing everything and
having a good time.
Which HB babe are you? v.2k5!
brought to you by Quizilla
excellent quiz ladies :)
sb was very fun. i will try and update with pictures later!
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[26 Jan 2005|01:22pm] |
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these next 48 hours are going to be INSANE. 1...2...3...GO!
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[17 Jan 2005|03:40pm] |
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boo. position papers are the most exhausting/difficult things ever.
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[13 Jan 2005|11:15pm] |
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just kidding! my phone is working now! hahaha sorry for the confusion
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[13 Jan 2005|10:16pm] |
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hey uh so my cell has ceased to function at all anymore. so until i get a new one or get my old one fixed...use the good ole house phone...if u need it im me at 'woa im bored' cuz i feel sketchy about putting it on here. so yeah dont call after 10. hopefully this wont be for long
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[12 Jan 2005|01:41pm] |
im bored and feel like procrastinating sooo....
Leave an ANONYMOUS comment with:
A secret.
A compliment.
A non-compliment.
A song that reminds you of me.
How long we've known each other.
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[29 Dec 2004|01:26am] |
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wow. i have never been so thankful to make it home alive. the whole tornado/thunderstorm thing...kinda freaking me out. especially since it got to the point where i could not see as i was driving, but thank god i have a special friend like mindy who offers her house as shelter in times of need <3 tonight was really fun...now that i have my *software* loaded for my digital camera i can start posting pix! (which i will do promptly tomorrow)
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[21 Dec 2004|05:21am] |
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today i was at banana republic with my mom when i saw man of my dreams. he was gorgeous, adorably dressed and our eyes met. as i murmured to my mom he was cute...his boyfriend walked up and grabbed his hand. i would say that it is ironic...but it isn't ironic...it just plain sucks.
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| i rarely do these but what the hell... |
[18 Dec 2004|10:18pm] |
1) What is your favorite Girl Scout cookie?
thin mints!!!!!
2) Do you prefer small town life or big city life?
something inbetween
3) The Cures "Boys don't cry" or "Just like Heaven"?
wow that is a toughie...boys don't cry is catchier...but just like heaven is prettier...but if i had to choose i guess just like heaven
4) Violent femmes or Sex Pistols?
violent femmes.
5) Reees Peanut Butter Cups or Pieces?
p.b.cups.
6) Morning sex or drunk sex?
never had either.
7) Jenna Jamison or Belladonna?
uh to be frank, i dont know who belladonna is...so i guess jenna jamison?
8) Britney or Christina?
well britney is a better performer...but christina has a much better voice...i dunno...ill say britney bc it reminds me of my elementary school days
9) Where were you born?
mission viejo
10) Pirates or zombies?
pirates!
11) Hardcore or emo?
haha neither.
12) Dodge ball or red light greenlight?
red ligh green light...i have memories of dodge ball that im still scarred from
13) Did you get spanked when you were a kid?
yes.
14) Do you get spanked now (sexually)?
hahaha no.
15) Do you like it?
errr
16) Where do you hope to be in 5 years?
im gonna have to agree with mindy on this one...happy and successful!!!
17) Do you believe in love?
yes
18) Do you believe in witchcraft?
sometimes...maybe i have just watched the craft too many times
19) Explain a holiday memory:
nutcracker.
20) If you could be a virgin again would you?
i am a virgin.
21) Would you ever consider being open sexually to someone of the same sex?
i dont know...i dont think so
22) Type some of the lyrics of one of your favorite songs:
jai guru deva om.
23) Do you sleep with a teddy bear, blankie, or in with girlfriends clothes?
i sleep with the blankie my grandma made me when its cold
24) Do you believe long distance relationships would work?
depends on the distance...but for the msot part...no
25) Have you ever dated some one off of my space/ friendster?
hahaha no.
26) How many people? (don't fucking lie)
dood im serious. 0
27) Whats more important: money, friendship, power or love?
love.
28) Would you sleep with someone on the first date?
no.
29) How do you like your grilled cheese sandwiches?
the way my mommy makes em
30) What do you listen to when your heart is broken?
sigur ros and elliot smith
31) Do you believe trust is earned, or do you think everyone should be trusted until they fuck up?
trusted until they fuck up...i tend to trust people too easily
32) What do you mix your vodka with?
orange juice
33) What was your favorite Saturday morning cartoon?
doug/rugrats
34) Did you ever watch kids incorporated?
haha hell yea!
35) What is your favorite John Hughes film (Pretty in Pink, Sixteen candles, Some kind of wonderful)
sixteen candles! <3
36) What did you think of House of 1000 corpses by Rob Zombie?
not personally a rob zombie fan
37) What do you do for work?
food expediter at park bench cafe
38) What is your dream job?
an english teacher of american literature.
39) Who is your favorite Peanuts gang character?
woodstock....he's just too cute
40) Broken hearts or a broken arm ?
ive never experienced a broken arm...but it has to be better than a broken heart
41) Clubs or bars?
not old enough yet :(
42)Whats the best show you've ever been to?
coachella 2003...not really a show, more of a festival i guess
43) Do you have a crush?
not really...id say the well is pretty much dry in hb
44) Who were you in high school?
well i still am in high school...and im not very good at labeling myself...but i sure know other people like to
45) Do you believe in astrology?
yes
46) Do you believe in angels?
no
47) Do you believe in ghosts?
sometimes
49) Don't lie: do you like bon Jovi's album- slippery when wet?
hahaha
50) What is your biggest "issue?"
id say i have a two-way tie...both of which kind of alienate me from people sometimes... 1) being single adn surrounded in a world of couples who regard their partner as the most important person in their life above everyone else..im not saying i want to be in a relationship...i jsut kind of wish not everyone else was 2)grades/college
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| yea... |
[16 Dec 2004|08:59am] |
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i'm pretty much a downer. sorry for that. but to be frank, pretty much the only thing i think about is how if i even end up getting accepted anywhere...i will be unaccepted because of my grades this year. hearing about everyoen getting accepted just makes me feel more apprehensive. its so frustrating to work so hard and not reap any benefits. i have serious issues. my brain has slowly dwindled away into a vast state of nothingness. i kind of think of it as a car running out of gas. im just kind of put-putting along ...praying tht ill have just enough to carry me the rest of the way. basically my hubris (excessive pride) lead me to my hamartia (taking too difficult of a schedule)and i am in a state of anagnorisis...my point of realization that i made a grave error in judgement in signing up for as many ap courses as i could take. now i am simply preparing myself for the tragic downfall. wow. looking back on what i have just written, i now realize that was a rather conceited analogy. i just suggested i was a tragic hero. hah. now i must ensue in writing a crappy essay that will take me forever because i have add and make a last gasp effort at learning anything about dna. ::sigh:: when did i turn into this?
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| i never seem to write very well in my livejournals. people probably think im a crummy writer. |
[15 Nov 2004|05:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 pensive |
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i spent a lot of time with my parents this weekend and i've just been thinking a lot in lieu of recent events. i was looking through my mom's old yearbooks and it made me feel regretful about parts of my life. i guess...it jsut got me thinking (the way a lot of things this week have been)....and maybe it would have been better if i was just in average, normal classes all during high school instead of being segregated in all these ridiculously competitive ap classes, and didnt put all that unneeded pressure/stress on myself. i wish i would have taken more risks, dated more, partied more...i dunno. overall im glad i worked hard because i love the friends ive made (seriously...the most amazing people who i wouldnt trade in for anything) in the process and succeeding and gaining knowledge is very satisfying...but i just wonder what my life would be like if i had just slown down, rather than constantly try to keep up with herd (and often falling behind and kicking myself endlessly for it). this sounds really random, but after looking through my mom's yearbooks, i feel like i would give anything to be transported back to 1972 and live high school in my mom's shoes. my mom always talks abotu how there was no real segregation in classes...everyone pretty much took the same courses....everyone went to parties or 'big surf' on the weekends....she met tons of people from other schools, dated...i dunno. sounds pretty nice to me. what is the point of being uptight and killing myself? dont get me wrong...ive had an amazing time in high school, an done a lto of crazy fun things...i just wonder what it would have been like without always being surrounded by anal competition, competition, competition,ap, honors, sats, ivy league, yada yada yada
ok after rereading everything i jsut wrote.....i think i have come to a conclusion. im happy with what i did at huntington and i wouldnt change it. i guess what i kinda long for is to have gone to high school in a setting like my mom did....where it wasnt competitive the way it is today. i dunno if that makes sense. it does to me anywho.
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[01 Nov 2004|10:03am] |
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im not at school right now because im bad. i need to do hw...but intil then im procrastinatin with this...
Books on the ALA's 100 Most Banned Books 1990-2000 list; ones I've read in bold.
1. Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
2. Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite
3. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
4. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
6. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
7. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
8. Forever by Judy Blume
9. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
10. Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor (This book is number one on the 2004 list)
11. Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
12. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
13. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
14. The Giver by Lois Lowry
15. It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
16. Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
17. A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
18. The Color Purple by Alice Walker
19. Sex by Madonna
20. Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
21. The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
23. Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
24. Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
25. In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
26. The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
27. The Witches by Roald Dahl
28. The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
29. Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
30. The Goats by Brock Cole
31. Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
32. Blubber by Judy Blume
33. Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
34. Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
35. We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
36. Final Exit by Derek Humphry
37. The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
38. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
39. The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
40. What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
41. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
42. Beloved by Toni Morrison
43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
44. The Pigman by Paul Zindel
45. Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
46. Deenie by Judy Blume
47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
48. Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
49. The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
50. Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
52. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
53. Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice).
54. Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
55. Cujo by Stephen King
56. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
57. The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell (don't ask)
58. Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
59. Ordinary People by Judith Guest
60. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
61. What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
62. Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
63. Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
64. Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
65. Fade by Robert Cormier
66. Guess What? by Mem Fox
67. The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
68. The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
69. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
70. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
71. Native Son by Richard Wright
72. Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Fantasies by Nancy Friday
73. Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
74. Jack by A.M. Homes
75. Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
76. Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
77. Carrie by Stephen King
78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
79. On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
80. Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
81. Family Secrets by Norma Klein
82. Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
83. The Dead Zone by Stephen King
84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
85. Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
86. Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
87. Private Parts by Howard Stern
88. Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford
89. Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
90. Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
91. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
92. Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
93. Sex Education by Jenny Davis
94. The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
95. Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
97. View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
98. The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
99. The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
100. Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
hmmm....only 29. what a disappointing number. there are some really good ones on that list that i have yet to read. looking through that list reminded me of when i was really little though and it makes me feel all nostalgic, especially the alice sereies. i LOVED the alice sereies. i probably read each those books 5 times. id read them again now if i had the time. well calculus is calling my name, so peace out suckers.
p.s. this weekend was really fun!
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[28 Oct 2004|12:17am] |
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my parents are home and im ridiculously happy. it feels so good to jsut hug my dad and talk to my mom and yea...i really missed them. my mom told me the house looked great. not sure how i pulled that one off. i <3 them.
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